It's impossible to talk about dreaming big without discussing the whiplash that often occurs when the fear of changing careers tries to talk us out of what we truly want.

What’s the antidote when fear threatens to crush your career dreams before you’ve even begun?

First, a story to illustrate how NOT to deal with fear ...

When I was leaving NYC, I told my brother of my dream to live in Hawaii…and my concern about finding a place to live.

I wasn’t looking for answers. I just wanted to talk it through.

No sooner had the dream crossed my lips than he’d pulled up Google Earth and Zillow.

Suddenly, we were zooming through the streets of Honolulu, peering into balcony windows and alighting on private pool decks.

“How many bedrooms? What’s your budget? What about this place?”

What followed was a series of cascadingly HAUNTING properties. Mirrored rooms. Carpeted bathrooms.

When I balked at a property with a washer in the yard, my brother shrugged, "That's Hawaii," with shocking conviction for someone who’s never even visited.

Despite thinking, "No, Sir, that is most certainly NOT Hawaii," the dream was dead. (See also: How To Deal With Dreamcrushers)

Here’s the problem: The antidote to fear is not planning. It's certainly not DOING. It's not even "facts."

Those are “head” solutions. And usually have little to no influence on powerful emotions.

Don't get me wrong, those things play a role. Later.

But they're not the go-to move when your dream is new and FEAR rears its head. 

I didn’t need help hunting for apartments.

I needed REASSURANCE. Because I was SCARED.

Career Change Is Behavioral Change

I was officially in what the Transtheoretical Model of behavior change calls the “Contemplation phase.” 

When we’re in the Contemplation stage of a change, we’re not READY to act.

In fact, there are several important steps we need to take BEFORE we start planning or taking action.

The Contemplation stage is marked by ambivalence.

We might really, really want a change, but in the Contemplation stage, we’re not yet committed to making it. We’re not fully bought in.

Finding yourself making pro/con lists? Riding the roller coaster of, "This is the path for meeeee wheeeee! Wait, what am I doing? How am I going to survive? I can't leave my paycheck. I guess I didn’t want it anyway."

These are signs you need to sit with the dream longer.

You also need to get real about fear.

By get real, I mean understand what that fear is really about.

Because it’s not ever really about The Thing.

In my case, it wasn’t about the logistics of getting to Hawaii or finding the right place.

It was about the long history of not feeling safe in my living environments…which triggers deep, deep memories and fears of instability.

Patterns, my friend, PATTERNS.

Until I cared for and addressed the real fear, no amount of Zillow searching would address the root. So I was either going to back away from the dream or end up feeling even more destabilized once I got it.

(Ever realized a dream only to feel equally bad or worse? Or had it trigger an entirely new set of fears? That’s because you still need to care for the root cause of that fear.)

Overcoming Fear Of Career Change

Ever get super excited about an idea, start thinking about putting into motion, and have it completely fizzle? That’s the fear, and it’s a trap.

So what's the antidote to fear?

<Brace yourselves, my beautiful Thinkers and Doers.>

1. Practice “sitting with the dream.”

Don’t abandon your dream when fear comes up. Hold onto it.

Know that the fear has NOTHING to do with the dream’s viability. It’s about something else.

2. BREATHE IN the fact that fear is normal…AND a really freakin' good sign that you're onto something.

Now ask what are the beliefs that are coming up? What is making them show up NOW? What’s making me feel [insert how you feel]?

3. BREATHE OUT the idea that fear is the enemy. Fear is your FRIEND.

Fear is there to PROTECT you. Resist the urge to fight it.

Most people push the fear (and the dream) away by trying to ignore it or grinding through it.

Instead: EMBRACE the fear. Grab its hand. Allow it to protect you as you walk toward your dream.

“How Do I Overcome My Career Change Fears?”

Before you solve for the dream, you have to solve for the fear.

In the beginning, career change is not about planning, doing, or facts.

The real barriers to getting the career you want are not about figuring out how to position yourself or how to “convince” people to take a chance on you or even how you’re going to earn money.

It’s about caring for the fear that’s making what you truly want feel so scary.

It’s through understanding your fear that you can come up with a plan that feels good.

Ready to overcome your career change fears? As a first step, I invite you to share your biggest DREAM—and your biggest FEAR getting in the way of that dream—in the comments below.

Figuring out how to bring your goals into reality can be daunting.

You just need the roadmap that gives you the confidence, clarity, and concrete steps to get there.

Take the first step and get my free 4-step roadmap: Take Back Your Life and Design a Career with Purpose.

Author Bio: 

Before becoming a coach, Caroline worked in management consulting and financial services. She's made it her mission to help people grow, contribute, and get wherever they want to go.

She’s also a tennis fanatic, aspiring Minimalist, FIRE (Financial Independence and Retire Early) enthusiast, and Aloha Spirit seeker 🤙. She loves to share stories from her unconventional life and career focused on freedom, creativity, fun, health, family, and community. If she can do it, you can, too.

The life and career you want is truly possible once you have the roadmap. Take the first step by downloading her free guide.