A couple of days ago, we looked at what comes up when something rocks our world, snaps us out of our complacency, and forces us to reevaluate what's important to us.

Today I want to talk about an emotion that comes up a lot in this process: Guilt.

The guilt I'm talking about is not of the I-feel-bad-I-ate-the-whole-box-of-donuts variety. It's about privilege.

When you have so much already, and then realize how much more is possible, OF COURSE you start to question why you deserve it.

Know that it's normal and healthy to feel that.

I hear things like this all the time:

• "It feels selfish to be focused on my career right now,"

• "I'm questioning why my business even matters,"

• "Why do I get to have everything I want when other people are suffering?"

And it's coming up A LOT now.

This awareness is what makes you an empathetic, compassionate human who genuinely cares about what's going on around you.

What's not helpful is thinking that downranking your own wants and desires will magically lift other people up.

Believing that your happiness, health, and prosperity isn't as important as [fill-in-the-myriad-really-important-things-in-the-world-right-now] doesn't serve you or anyone else. And it's your brain's tricky way of allowing you to shirk responsibility.

Life is not some zero-sum game where your success means someone else's failure. Or vice versa.

It's not a club where no one else gets in once they reach capacity.

There's plenty of abundance to go around.

And we need you and your privilege in the game.

“Move On And Make Good”

Let's be clear. Systems of oppression function because they unequally benefit some and subjugate others. So it's important to take a hard look at those systems, recognize how you unfairly benefit, then dismantle them or opt out.

But this doesn't mean you stop going after what you want. It means being intentional about how you go after it. And doing the daily work to increase your self-awareness and role in the change you want to see.

So take responsibility by asking how you can use your success and privilege to walk alongside and invest in others.

I love what Ben O’Keefe says about this, “We don’t need you to carry the burden of your privilege. We need you to acknowledge it and to use your privilege, promote good, and to fight oppression…This is time for you to forgive yourself, to acknowledge your complicity and to do something about it, to move on and to make good.”

Guilt Serves a Purpose…Listen

Like all emotions, Guilt serves a purpose. So the first step is to stop judging it or trying to get out of how bad it makes us feel and listen to what it's telling us.

Guilt forces us to STOP. It's an opportunity to reflect. It's a chance to admit we messed up.

Guilt is essential for the admission of wrongdoing. So if one is, for example, waking up to hundreds or thousands of years of systemic inequities, violence, and abuse, that awareness is a powerful opportunity to own our mistakes.

Thank you, Guilt.

3 Questions to Ask If You’re Questioning Your Career or Business

Marinating in guilt around your privilege is either going to A) Keep you from taking any action, or B) Lead you to act in a way to make yourself feel less guilty.

Neither of these reactions actually improves the situation you're feeling guilty about.

If you're genuinely committed, let's figure out how to support the people and issues you care about in a way that everyone thrives.

And, yes, that includes you. No one benefits if you sit this one out or exhaust yourself. This is a marathon.

So if you're questioning the importance of your goals when others are struggling, here are 3 questions to ask:

1. What's the lesson here?

2. How can I transfer or share my success and privilege?

3. What is the best way to align myself so I can stand up for the people/issues I care most about?

Your Success and Others’ Success Are Inextricably Linked

Share your answers below in the comments.

I'll share more about how to take aligned action in a few days. (It ain't from a position of apathy or Ego, I can tell you that.)

Until then, I encourage you to listen to what your feelings are telling you and commit to being a thoughtful and effective participant in the movement(s) that are important to you.

Remember that, for true social justice and equity, your success and others' success are inextricably linked.

If there's something you want to do for yourself and a bigger cause you believe in, it's up to you to "Yes, and" the sh*& out of it and figure out how to do both. I'm an email away if you need support.

Let's change the world together.

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Author Bio: 

Before becoming a coach, Caroline worked in management consulting and financial services. She's made it her mission to help people grow, contribute, and get wherever they want to go.

Caroline wants women to recognize how much power they truly have to define their careers. The life and career you want really is possible once you have the roadmap. Take the first step by downloading her free guide.

She’s also a tennis fanatic, aspiring Minimalist, FIRE (Financial Independence and Retire Early) enthusiast, and Aloha Spirit seeker 🤙. She loves to share stories from her unconventional life and career focused on freedom, creativity, fun, health, family, and community. If she can do it, you can, too.